Markin' Time

Went to Walmart one morning.  6 a.m.  Nobody on line.  Checkout guy says 'how are you this morning?'  I say "Early bird gets the worm."  Guy had no idea what I meant.  White guy in his 30s.

Talking with my grandson about the economy...I tell him keep an eye on Deutsche Bank.  If Deutsche Bank goes down it's the canary in the coal mine.

Huh?  Canary in the coal mine?  Huh?

Say something from Shakespeare or Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain to young people today and you get that blank stare.

Discussing women with Stephen I quoted W.C.Fields..."Women are like elephants.  They're nice to look at, but I wouldn't want one walking around in my living room."

Steve asks me if Fields was gay.

The culture is lost.  We jes' be mahkin' tahm.

Amazon Sellers

I just took delivery of a book from an Amazon Seller...Differential and Integral Calculus by Courant.  Usually Amazon sellers are reliable.  I used to sell on Amazon myself, and I went out of my way to describe the books I was selling in an accurate and professional fashion.

The book I received today had been described by the seller as "Like New."  It was supposed to be a soft cover book published in 2010.  The book I received was a hard cover published in 1961.  It was not "Like New."  The book jacket was scratched and sun-blanched unevenly.  Pages were yellowed.  The name and address of the previous owner was pasted twice into the reverse side of the cover.  And the book felt unhealthy.  I washed my hands at least five times after touching the thing.  I want to get it out of my house ASAP before my other books catch some sort of book-disease from the thing.

I have run into sellers like this before..although rarely.  I wish Amazon wold do something to get rid of these folks.  I had paid $29 for the book.  I immediately re-bought the book "new" from Amazon for $34.  That's what I get for trying to save a measly five bucks.

Now I have to mail this sucker back.  Well, that's my two cents. 

A-holes

Casino looks desolate recently.  I guess that's because I get there at 8 a.m.  I don't go there to make a bet.  I go there to pick up the racing form for the day.  Then I go back home and I bet from home. 

Last time I was there some jerk cuts me off as I'm walking up to the betting window to get the racing form.  Like...wtf?  We're the only 2 guys in the whole friggin' casino...and this jerk gotta be first in line?  Anyway, turned out it was 7:56 a.m. and the betting windows don't officially open till 8:00 a.m.  F'**ing asshole! 

The Long Branch Stakes

Monmouth's 3rd race on Saturday is the $100,000 Long Branch.  My rich relations lived in Long Branch.  They had a mansion there etc etc.  Didn't leave anything to us.  In the'50's we used to drive out to the graveyard.  My mom probably gave them the middle finger when I wasn't looking.  Anyway, I get a cozy feeling when the Long Branch rolls around.

A Sailor of Austria by John Biggins

I began reading "A Sailor of Austria" last night.  It's dictated by this guy who's 100 years and six months old, and he's in a nursing home run by nuns in England.  The Queen sends a personal letter to everyone who lives to be 100.  But not to this guy, because he doesn't have his birth certificate.

He fought in both world wars, commanding submarines, and did all sorts of interesting stuff over his life.  But no birth certificate?  No letter from the Queen.

He asks his doctor to give him his death certificate in advance so he will have some proof that he exists.

It struck a chord with me.  I've had tons of problems related to my birth certificate over the years.  I still don't have an acceptable birth certificate even though I was born in the Bronx, NY a few years ago; so my Nevada drivers license is restricted...I can't board a plane or enter a government building.

My kind of book.

A Nickel here a nickel there

I'm reading a book..."Who We Are and Where We Came From"... Author is an expert on the human genome.  Says he has examined the genomes of American Indians all the way down to the tip of South America, and he found that American Indians are more closely related to Southern Europeans (French & Italians) than they are to Asians.

Hard to believe.  But I remember reading that the guy who was used as the model for the Indian on the face of the Buffalo nickel was actually Italian.  So I went to Wikipedia to check it out.  Wikipedia has a whole different story about various Indian chiefs who claim they were used as the model for the Indian on the nickel.  But (big error) Wikipedia said that the famous Buffalo nickel with the buffalo having only 3 legs, was coined in 1937.  I know for a fact this nickel was coined at the Denver Mint in 1936.

Millions of young numismatists have probably read the Wiki article and they're searching for 1937 nickels and checking the reverse for the buffalo with only 3 (or 3.5) legs.  Their young lives are being wasted.  They should be checking the nickels dated 1936 with a D (for the Denver mint.)

Anyway, I don't know where my coin book is, so I can't find out if the model for the nickel was an Italian or not.  Maybe the Indian with the tear running down his face because of the trash in the Hudson River was the Italian guy, and I mixed them up.

Lavengro